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May 16, 2012 – The Birthday Blues

Today, LandShark and I turn 3 years old.  According to mommy that makes us 21 years old in doggy years and able to drink legally.  As usual we’re not really sure what she’s talking about.  We do know that today is that one special day a year when she stops at the doggy bakery on her way home from work and brings us a tasty birthday surprise.  We look forward to our birthday treat all day long, we sit around drooling on ourselves waiting for her to get home.  What we don’t look forward to is the inevitable emasculation that is as much fun as the first time we got neutered.  What I am speaking of is the horrible little blue party hats that we are forced to wear each and every year in order to get our birthday treats.  Evil mommy then takes photos of us in our “happy hats” and forwards then to all her friends (because the humiliation of wearing the hats is not enough, there must be photographic evidence as well).  

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Mommy doesn’t understand how difficult it is to maintain the image of a gangsta in a blue sparkly party hat with feathers…and streamers.  Or maybe she does understand and thinks that if LandShark and I get beat up a couple of times by the hardened criminal gangs of Yorba Linda it will somehow make us stronger.  Or she’s still pissed that I won’t go outside to pee when it’s raining…

Not gangsta

~Murphy (I am unable to channel El Diablo while wearing this hat) the most interesting wiener in the world.